After circling your insignificant moist rock for five of your sun cycles in my celestial chariot, I have finally received orders from my superiors to join your Book of Faces.

The services provided by EXONOMA.COM, Intergalactic Exonomastics Institute of the Internets, are undoubtedly well-known to your entire population, such as it is, by now. Any Terran petitioner may request alien names from our vast cultural datapools, be it random names from one or more specific alien species or a name based on the petitioner’s quaint Human designation. Over 180 known extraterrestrial and extradimensional species are on record.

Brain probe telemetry indicates that this service is predominantly in demand with your “Geek” caste and that the names dispensed are typically used in tribal rituals such as role-playing and fan-fictioning or in the electronic fighting pits of Em-Em-Oh.

Don’t be ashamed to cast aside your Earthname for a superior appellation bestowed by your evolutionary betters. It is the order of things. You too can impress your fellow digital drones with authentic alien names – from space!

You may commence rejoicing at this time!